The Lord knew that I’d been bound by unforgivenss for 10 years. I was a miserable soul.
Inwardly, when someone hurts me, I had this immediate, unspoken reaction. God bring the gavel down on my offender, I thought. My X had to experience the same suffering he caused me. The scripture used to support my bitterness was “You will reap what you sow.” And I thought, “You get him God!”
Then God showed up with my first miracle. In a snap, he released me from the grip of un-forgiveness.
I compare this miracle to the alcoholic’s immediate release from alcohol addiction. Literally, the taste and temptation for alcohol is gone; the struggle vanishes. This is how it was for me. In a flash- the spirit of unforgiveness towards my X disappeared.
But this was a new situation.
No more hopes of a wedding…
The pain…
And the revelation that my very recent X was now a newly wed.
What a roller coaster ride.
Boy! Did I need to press in and lean on God.
The Lord Set out to Save Me from Myself
However, the Lord had a different approach to dealing with the dilemma. He remembered my 10 year struggle with unforgiveness, so He set out to save me from myself. The Lord said, “Wanda I want you to pray for your X. Pray that he and his wife will have a blessed marriage.”
I Was Speechless to say the least! My mouth flew open in shock, but the Lord continued saying, “Vengence is mine.” As I paced the span of my bedroom, “fuming” He continued, “And it is not your concern how I choose to deal with the issue.”
You know the scripture. God’s ways are not our ways and his thoughts are not our thoughts- what an understatement. Begrudgingly, I prayed for the newlyweds- not meaning a word of it. For example, I made a petition saying, “Lord bless my X and his wife.” And with stiff lips sighed, “Lord bless their marriage.”
The strangest thing happened after a year of praying this way. One day I woke up and realized the roots of well wishes had replaced the roots of un-forgiveness in my heart.
A Blessing in Disguise
Even more, guess who received the most blessings? You see God gave me the directive to pray for the couple, so I would not be tormented by un-forgiveness again. So He gave me a practical approach to keep un-forgiveness out of my heart.
On the other hand, had I chosen disobedience, I would not have reaped the benefits of this lesson. Avoiding and repenting from unforgiveness is a lifelong endeavor and, remember, it’s for you. You avoid bitterness, repetitive thinking, and get to leave the baggage at the door.
Likewise, whenever a hurtful experience surfaces, forgive the person immediately.
For instance, a hurtful experience 20 years back may surface. Your immediate response should be, “Oh no, I forgave that person.” Remember, this process is ongoing until you destroy the root.
On another note, whether you want to give the culprit access to your space again or whether you need to love him/her from a distance is up to you. Last but not least- forgive yourself for your shortcomings too.